Many authors, from Viktor Frankl to Deepak Chopra, have discussed the importance of living a purposeful life. It is purpose that allows us to transcend ourselves and create meaningful moments. Frankl believed that a pursuit in meaning in life is far more important than the pursuit of happiness, as meaning connects us to our past, present and future.
It can also be said that purpose in a relationship is more important than happiness. Relationships that last are the ones where two people create shared meaning; where goals are set and met alongside each other. A healthy relationship involves building a life together where dreams are not only visualized but come to fruition.
While happiness is a feeling that can eventually fade, meaning and purpose are everlasting. With this in mind, here are 3 ways you and your partner can create and share goals together.
Commit to Creative Time
Couples are often encouraged to commit to a date night once a week to stay connected. While having fun together is definitely important to the relationship, it is no more important than creating together. Be sure to set time aside each week to create a shared vision and figure out how you’re going to make that vision become reality.
Be Open
During your dreaming and planning hours, it’s important that you both be open to what the other has to say. Dreaming and planning your life is not the time to put each other down for ideas or questions. Being open and non-critical will create an environment of respect and safety, and this is where magic can happen.
Share Responsibility
Once you have come up with your goal (live a sustainable lifestyle, homeschool the kids, create a home gym, etc…) and devised a plan of how you’ll get there, it’s important you BOTH see the plan all the way through to the end. Be sure to keep yourself and each other accountable and support one another. Remember, you’re on the same team – cheer each other on so you can win the gold!
In order for your marriage to thrive, it is vitally important you both commit to spending quality time together dreaming and planning, being open and respectful to what the other has to say, and share in the responsibility of seeing your dream come to fruition. If at any point during your dreaming and planning you find your communication is troubled, consider seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor who can help you reconnect and tackle any issues you may be having.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring counseling, please contact us today. We would be happy to speak with you about how we may be able to help.
Priscilla Hurd, LPC, M.Ed.
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